Her face was just like all the rest,
on pick up time at three.
The adrenaline that had twisted thick,
buried for a spell.
The anguish of the morning,
the torment of the night.
The constant torture of anxiety,
that steals family time.
It even creeps upon us at weekends,
when we’re trying to forget.
She tosses and turns every bedtime,
needing a parent’s close presence.
Her body sending messages,
of chemical potency.
Turning her stomach into iron knots,
her mind into a throbbing ball of pain.
There is no magic book of answers,
even the professionals are surprised.
The magnitude of her anguish,
the irrationality of her mind.
Her body in full fight or flight,
yet the predator is not what it seems.
There is no need to do either,
but her mind is plagued with doubt.
© Sarah Lee, 8 September, 2013
This week my ‘Prose for Thought’ contribution is derived from trying to settle two of my children into a new school, in a new country. Progress is slow and painful. My husband and I feel like we’re going through the early weeks with our first child all over again – such is the extent of our emotions, feeling of helplessness and not having all the answers. All we can do is hope, look at each new day with positivity and try to keep a level of sanity!
As I prepared for today I turned to a beautiful artwork; on the wall of one of the bathroom’s in the house we are staying for a year. It depicts three nude women, towelling themselves dry and is a facsimile of an original pastel by Robert Brackman – ‘Study-Morning Interlude’. It gave me hope and an inner feeling of peace, that they will one day grow to be three, healthy, wonderful, independent women. And indeed, as I post this up, one of my daughters has returned home from school a bundle of positivity – despite being a jumble of nerves and anxiety this morning.
Linking up here –
It’s been Father’s Day in New Zealand (and a few other countries around the world) this weekend. Seeing as the man of the house is father to three New Zealand born daughters we decided to celebrate his awesomeness this Sunday, here in America.
I reckon, for most parents, the best mother’s or father’s day is one when the children are happy and not tearing each other’s hair out (if you happen to have more than one).
Well, today, we did pretty well.
A few jolly gifts, consisting of much needed beer drinking glasses (whilst we wait for our container of goodies to arrive), some clever gadgets to clean children’s sticky finger prints off countless electronic screens (a pet hate of the man of the house) and a couple of toy cars that can be remote controlled with the man of the house’s iPhone (had to get two so we could have races), as well as caramel chocolate.
On Father’s Day morning I took two of our children out, while he enjoyed some one on one, relative quiet with our eldest. In the afternoon we frolicked in the swimming pool, delighting in our Miss 3 learning to swim (one of those parental ‘highs’ that make it all worth while!).
We’ve dinned on a curry for dinner (found a nice take away in the student area of UCSB) and are chilling out with happy children this evening. Pretty perfect really!
We are looking forward to moving into a permanent place of residence for a year on Wednesday (finally) and are happy in the knowledge that are home in New Zealand is being well looked after by a friend.
All we need now is to have two happy school girls (currently we have one – at least we’re half way there…!); introduce Miss 3 to the local pre-school; and free up some time for Mamma to do yoga and run; whilst Daddy finds a decent soccer team to play with and a decent tennis partner (oh, and the paddle board and kayak to arrive from New Zealand).
So, Happy New Zealand Father’s Day to the man of the house! Congratulations on being an amazing Dad for just over a decade now! Your three daughters love you more than they always show you (hee, hee!) and thank you for being a super Dad in trying to keep everyone happy whilst settling into life in a new country.
We love you xx