The Photo Gallery | ‘Selfie’

Me in California

Sunshine smiles in California. This is me looking happy on a good day. A day before we started to try and integrate two, of our three, children into a new school, in a new country. A day after getting a lovely new vehicle to cruise around town in – a sunshine red VW Convertible. A day after I’d been out for a run along a scenic cliff-top over looking the Pacific Ocean.

We’ve since moved into a house that we’ve leased for one year. It’s a beautiful house, fully furnished, with a swimming pool – a ‘paradise’ in a warm, sunny climate. At home the children’s voices are happy. They keep themselves entertained, with little outings and plentiful good food to help themselves to when they feel hungry. But, it’s not our home, our house back in New Zealand. It’s a gated house, like most of the other properties surrounding us in this affluent neighbourhood. We can hear other children playing – but can’t see them. It’s not the same as our friendly, close knit neighbourhood, where we had lived as a family for seven years, in Wellington. We are missing our home, our routines, our friends, our local ‘haunts’. We are trying to live each day positively – but there is a sense of ‘holding back’ from all of us, a knowing that this is only a temporary stay in our lives.

It would be easier to be on the road travelling, moving from one place to the next, in some ways. Perhaps that is the solution. We use this house merely as our base. We embrace the online public school opportunity that is available here in the US and travel as much as we can, accompanying the man of the house on various business trips. This is a time of finding our way, our pace, deciding on how best to focus our time whilst we are here.

I need to feel that smile, that was from the heart last week. I need that smile to sparkle in my eyes and override the well of tears that seem to rise all too easily when the integration into a local school feels at ill with our family. Thank goodness for options is all I can say – now to choose the best fit for us!

Sarah

xx

Joining in with….

Sticky Fingers Photo Gallery

9 comments

  1. I really feel for you, I remember that dip after the initial excitement when you crave the familiar. It must be so hard especially as you are not intending to stay permanently and I can understand why you all holding back. I hope you find the solution that fits you all but there’s no need to hurry is there, what difference will a few weeks make while you decide what you want to do? Sending love and best wishes x

  2. Gorgeous photo,but (((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))) for everything else… I can’t imagine the heartache as you not only crave home; but also have deal with your daughters raw emotions as well, and try to make the best decisions for them.

  3. Beautiful photo, the sun through your hat is lovely too. I can completely relate – our first few months here were so up and down, and I still have moments. I really hope you find the right balance for you and your family xx

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